A passionate motivational speaker and life coach with a new reality-based, no-nonsense approach, Terry Taylor is the designer of a unique strategy for reaching your goals and loving your life. Creator of the CD program, 8 Steps For Reclaiming Your Life, and author of the upcoming book, This Is Your Life: No Apology Needed, her mission is to help you to break free from conflict, confusion and the control of others so you can go after your goals guilt-free, with confidence and joy.

Relax Into Your Life

APRIL’S BREAK FREE TIP shows you how to break free from mental and physical tension so you can live a life that is relaxed and joyful.

Mentally, are you high strung? Physically, are you tight as a drum?

When you’re this tense, “visualizing” and “breathing exercises” just aren’t enough. You need to get to the CAUSE of your tension because chronic tension is harmful to your life.

Tension Freezes Action – and Life is About Action. Tension interferes with thought (mental action) and movement (physical action). It cripples your creativity, productivity, and communication – and burdens your breathing, digestion, and other bodily functions. Unrelieved tension ends up disrupting your relationship with yourself as well as your relationship with the people you care about.

Goals and Dreams are Meaningless if You Can’t ACT to Make Them Come True. When you are tense you cannot act in a relaxed and efficient manner. Your effectiveness goes down and your fatigue level goes up. At the end of the day you feel frustrated and drained instead of elated and enthusiastic.

A Relaxed Life Starts With Healthy Thoughts. By “relaxed” I do not mean being a couch potato with no energy, purpose or enthusiasm. I mean being poised for action but not gripped. Being poised for action is like a guitar whose strings are strung at just the right tension for you to make music with them – not so tight that the strings break and not so loose that they make no sound at all.

Healthy thoughts take the high tension out of your mind and body so you can relax into a state that is peaceful yet ready for action. This makes it possible for you to take effective action toward your goals.

What are healthy thoughts? How are they different from harmful thoughts?

  • Healthy thoughts are thoughts that are life-enhancing, life-loving, and life-energizing.
  • Harmful thoughts are thoughts that are life-damaging, life-disparaging, and life-draining.

Pay Attention to Your Thoughts. It pays to pay attention to your thoughts — during the day and when you lay awake at night – to see if they are life-encouraging or life-discouraging. Also pay attention to your actions to see whether they help or hurt you as a human being. You’ll be amazed at how much this can improve your life!


Here are five “Personal Policies” that help me steer clear of what’s harmful and engage myself in healthy thoughts and actions.

Policy 1: Don’t Cram Too Much Into One Day. This is my biggest challenge. I have so many things I want to do, and I tend to write down too much on my To Do List. Now I start my List with “The Major One Thing to Do Today,” and I’m happy if I get that one thing done. This takes the pressure off me for the rest of the day (and for the other things on the list)…and I actually accomplish more and enjoy the process! This one change has been a life-saver!   

Policy 2: Honor Your Relationship With Yourself. Sometimes I find myself so empathetic with another person that I forget to treat myself as a person in my own right. I have therefore made myself aware of my own needs as a full-fledged human being, and I make sure I honor those needs. By the same token, I make sure I honor everyone else’s right to take care of their individual needs.

Policy 3: Don’t Try To Please Everybody. I tried it and it can’t be done – and it’s easy to lose your sanity and integrity in the process. I find the healthiest, happiest people are guided by their own values, dreams and goals – not someone else’s. This may please some and displease others, but what matters most (and the only thing you can control) is that you are true to yourself.

Policy 4: Live Your Own Life and Let Others Live Theirs. If you’ve ever tried to run other people’s lives or let other people run your life, you know how enormously stressful that can be. That’s because nobody can live somebody else’s life for them – each person must do his or her own living. I’ve discovered that I have a much better relationship with myself AND other people if I make it a policy to mind my own business (take responsibility for my own life) and let other people mind theirs (take responsibility for their own lives). Now when it comes to other people, I refuse to be either a “slave-driver” or a “slave”: I engage with others only if it is mutually voluntary and mutually beneficial. 

Policy 5: Focus on what is important, exciting, and fulfilling TO YOU. I found that if I focus on what’s important to everyone else and turn my back on what’s important to me, I feel empty and full of resentment. But when I put my thoughts, time, and energy into what’s important to me I feel fulfilled and happy. Every day there are loads of choices and diversions that can tempt me away from my top priorities. Priorities can change, but I always strive to honor the ones on top. I don’t want to fritter away my life by allowing myself to get sidetracked. 

These policies are not “one-time” affairs – they are ongoing behaviors to make sure your thoughts and actions take you toward your choice of a happy, fulfilling life. Using healthy guides like these, you can feel at peace with yourself and the things you choose to do each day. All this helps you to relax and love living your life!

I’d love to hear how these steps work for you — feel free to email me at, or post a comment on my Break Free Blog at Please know that you are welcome to share this BREAK FREE TIP by forwarding this message to a friend or colleague.

Note: To learn more about healthy thoughts and relationships, read This Is Your Life: No Apology Needed, now available at Amazon as an eBook. Also available as a paperback or CD at my website,


Comments are closed.

  • Connect With Me



    8 Steps For Reclaiming Your Life from Conflict, Confusion and the Control of Others

    Set of Six Audio CD's with a Packet of Tools

    Two Working Women take you caringly through 8 powerful steps for reclaiming your Selfhood and going after your own goals guilt free with confidence and joy.

    Click here to learn more.

    Click here to order now.


    NEW! Now available as an eBook!

    The book that helps Working Women Stop Apologizing and Start Living

    This Is Your Life: No Apology Needed

    Discover how you can break free from the conflicts that poison your life. Transform your uninspiring "To-Do List" into a list of steps to reach your most exciting goals.

    Click here to learn more.

    Click here to order now.

  • Blog Categories

  • Like This Site?

    Tell a friend:

    IE & Netscape Users use Ctrl+D

  • Enter your email address to receive updates in your email:

    Delivered by FeedBurner